Well...

So... this is how I feel lately.

My journey is taking a detour!

I have so much on my small plate that I am just going to have to put weight loss on hold for now. My new journey is going to be all about survival! If I survive I will be victorious! And if the people around me survive... well that will mean super victorious!!!

So, as for what is on my plate...

I'm taking a sewing class at school... and while it is not really a hard class, it is just a class where I have to get projects done. But, I love the shirt I made. I learned how to make it to fit my body (which is super not fun to buy a nice button up blouse for!). The shirt is really nice, it is white short-sleeved. And then there is the skirt... well, not so nice. I hated the fabric I picked and the skirt just didn't turn out how I envisioned it. You will probably never see it on me. It doesn't go with my body type. But if there is someone out there who wants it when I get it back, just let me know. It is a red satin skirt... fitted at the waist and flow-y at the bottom and it comes mid-calf-ish. So... I may be willing to give it a good home. As for my next project... I get to make something of my own choosing. So I'm making a dress for Macee... and a dress for Maddy. I couldn't make only one daughter a dress. I think I can turn in the other one for extra credit! Woohoo! And then my final project is another blouse. I'm making the same one I did earlier this semester, but this time it will be black and long-sleeved!

My next class is Medical Terminology. It is an 8-week course. We cover 18 chapters in this course... tells you how many chapters we cover a week. Super busy with that!!! But I have set-up a pacing schedule to keep up with all that classes work!

I'm working 2 four-hour shifts at Scrapbook.com warehouse. I'm loving it there. While I don't always enjoy going, once I'm there I really enjoy it. I have made some good friends there and I'm on my feet the whole time. Chuck bought me some Sketchers Shape-Ups. I noticed some of the women at work wearing them and I thought it would be a great idea. Why not "work-out" as I work! They are really nice shoes and I can tell they do their job of working out the legs more than regular tenny-runners!

I have kiddos in programs this year. We have never really done any extra things, but now we sure are. Maddy is doing Jog Club on T/Th and Tyler has "Einstein Eagles" on T/Th as well. Tyler and Maddy use to go to jog club together until Tyler started his "EE" last week, so now I go meet Maddy and Macee after school for Jog Club and do some laps with them.

Tyler is doing flag football... so practices are T/W and games on Saturday.

And then there is Scouts, Activity Days, Mutual...

And a house to keep clean...

And whatever else gets thrown in on top of all of it.

I know to some of you this doesn't sound like a whole lot, but to me it is... I like the life of not too much going on. I hate running around all the time like a crazy woman.

I miss hanging with the girls...

I hate that I get frustrated easily...

I wish that when people tell me they are going to do something that they would just do it...

Yes, you probably know who u are...

Will this be a good enough reminder when you are veg-ing in front of the TV and don't notice the housework (that you said you would help with) that needs to be done. No, you aren't grounded from the TV anymore, but I just need that little extra love and support you promised me!

Good reminder, eh??? So... now that I just rambled on and on about nothing really and probably just wasted some precious homework time, I think I better sign off... b/c Chuck has us getting up early for a 3k walk tomorrow morning (or should I say this morning b/c it is technically Saturday)... then we have a football game, a birthday party, irrigation, homework, lessons to plan (we both teach Sunday) and then a "hot" date with our BFF's (the Morty's)... Olive Garden and Bowling... so... off to bed I go!

Goodnight... sleep tight...

dream of bedbugs tonight!

Food Journal 9-16 (thurs)

Breakfast
2 slices toast w/ light margarine and strawberry jam
1 small banana

Snack
6 pk Keebler crackers
pear

Lunch
Lean pocket

Snack
another donut
44 oz wild cherry pepsi
3/4 sleeve saltines

Dinner
fro yo
3/4 heath topping

Wow... crazy old me. But WI was today. Down 1 lb. Doing ok I guess! My goal is slow and steady. I'm down 6 lbs in 4 weeks. Looks good to me! Maybe I'll keep going! No stress here! And I have had my soda. Yeah, I know it isn't all good for me, but I like it. I'll decide when I really want it to go, but it isn't time yet! Probably will not be stressing about a food journal for the next 2 days. Lunch w/ Nic and scrapnite tomorrow... scrapping all day Saturday... just don't plan on hearing from me! And maybe I will eat some french fries tomorrow night! Oh it's been so long... hummmmmm.... maybe I shouldn't take the risk. Maybe Pandas will do! That works well on my tummy!

My goals
4 water bottles- almost... promise to get my last one in b4 bed!
food journal- here it is!
3 meals, 2 snacks- yup (i might need to work a bit on the healthy factor next week)
WATP- nada
Abs/Arms- probably not (unless I get motivated tonight... which I might! I will tell you later!)
8 pm cut-off- yup, that's the plan!
No bad fast food- yup, but tomorrow and Saturday will be a different story!

Looks good I think! I'm happy and that is all that matters!

Food Journal 9-15 (wed)

Breakfast
2 slices toast w/ light margarine and strawberry jam
1 small banana

Lunch (this is so healthy)
1 serving pretzels
1 Boston Creme donut (my FAVORITE!!!)
1 44 oz Liquid Sanity

Dinner
1 sloppy joe
1 serving cheddar/sour cream chips

Dessert
1 cookies and cream ice cream cone
a few skittles and sour patch kids

Wow... what a healthy day!!! haha...

Now for my goals...
4 bottles of water- yup
food journal- yup
3 meals, 2 snacks- not really. on school days my schedule is messed up!
WATP- no...
Abs/Arms- nada
8pm cut-off- totally
no bad fast food- not really, does a donut count??? Not in my book and it's my goal, so I get to check this one off!!!

Food Journal 9-14 (tues)

Breakfast
cheerios w/ skim milk

Snack
1 pkg Keebler Cheese Sandwich Crackers

Lunch
WW meal (5pt-er)

Snack- i was kinda snacky today... actually i was hungry!!!
44 oz Wild Cherry Pepsi
1- 7 layer bar (the last one)
10-ish saltines
small bowl cookies 'n cream icecream

Dinner
Rotisserie Chicken
Rice
light margarine
shredded cheese

6 hours work... YEA!!! no work tomorrow!!!

Goals
4 bottles of water- check
Journal food- check
3 meals, 2 snacks- check
WATP- nada
Abs/Arms- nada
8pm cut-off- check
No bad fast food- check

I feel good today. Although I was snacky today, I did keep in under control better than the past! When I'm on my feet all day, sometimes it makes me hungry! Tomorrow is school, sewing here I come!

Goals

My goals are as follows...

-4 water bottles

- journal food intake

- 3 meals, 2 snacks

- WATP (Walk Away the Pounds)... more info in a bit

- Abs/Arms (3 days a week)

- 8 pm cut-off

- no bad fast food

I work 3 days a week here and get about 15,000 steps in during work, so I get some good movement in during those days. But my goal for WATP is to complete a "marathon" (26.2 miles) by the time I go to Disneyland in 25 days. Seeing I will not be doing WATP every day (due to work, Sundays...) I hope to complete this goal! I thought it would be a fun one to work towards and my prize??? Probably something fun at Disneyland, like a charm or 2 for my watch bracelet! I think that would be FABULOUS!!! So, I will post my journals and progress here.

My goal isn't necessarily fast weight loss.

My goal is just working towards healthy habits

that will help in the weight loss department!

I'm fine with slow and steady!

They say "slow and steady wins the race"

and this is a race I am determined to WIN!

I'm looking for a LIVE-et, not a DIE-et!!!

I just was looking at my start weight in Aug and I have lost 5 lbs in 4 weeks. I say that is mighty fine! So I will "stay the course" and just keep trucking along. Looking back I remember months where I would gain 5 lbs and be frustrated! Since being off my meds, I have been doing better in the weight category. The emotional category is a different story. That is something I have to work on everyday! I'm working 3 days a week (while kids are in school) and going to school 1 day a week, that leaves me with only 1 day a week to myself. I thought for sure I would have more time to myself once school started and all kids were in school. But the opportunity came up for me to work. And it is a place I like to work at... mostly b/c of the discount... hello scrapbook supplies! But working sure makes me tired (I re-stock the inventory, lots of walking, squating and lifting) and coming straight home to kids out of school and getting homework done, chores completed, piano practiced (and taught on Wed), dinner fixed, scouts/activity days, dance (something new to our family), kids settled for bed, showers... wow, I'm tired just thinking about it all! There is probably more, but that is where I end. So, I go to bed early now. My body just stops at 9 and I can go no more! It's nice, but not really nice! I wish that I could stay up later, like on the weekends... crop-nights... dp will have to be my friend!

So, now that I just bored you all with my crazy life, I will end with this. I am learning to budget my time wisely (like grocery shopping during dance time), and then my 1 day off a week can be for me. I can get rejuvenated and feel much better and have that happy medium. I am grateful for the opportunity to work. I feel like the Lord has blessed my family with this opportunity. Sometimes we hope that if we pay our tithing and fast offerings and do the things we are suppose to do that money will just pop up, sometimes it does happen that way, but right now I know I have to work for it. I asked for some extra financial comfort and this was my answer. I know it will bless my family. OK... I'm such a rambler! But I don't keep a journal, so this is it, out for the whole world to see! Crazy!

Now if I could just get my hubby to text me an "i love you" randomly I would be the happiest person alive! ;)

Food Journal 9-13 (Mon)

Breakfast
Cheerios w/ skim milk

Snack
1 pkg. Keebler Cheese Sandwich Crackers

Lunch
WW meal (a 6 pt meal)

Snack
32oz Wild Cherry Pepsi
1.5 yummy 7 layer bars

Dinner
2 md fry bread
w/ beans, meat and cheese

4 water bottles
6 hours of work

A new challenge

Chuck and I are starting a 6-week challenge this Thurs

Like in 2 days!!! {well, one full day and 2 nights...}

Here are the details...

There are 100 points possible a day,

600 total for the week

I'll explain later why only 600 not 700.

Here is how you earn points

30 meal points

-6 pts per meal (5 meals)

-must journal food eaten

- focus on 1 protein, 1 carb and 1 f/v

- have at least 2 veggies a day

{{{btw... I'm not a veggie eater}}}

***penalty: minus 10 pts for snacking b/w meals

(besides cucumbers/celery)***

20 exercise points

-exercise 30+ min a day

-BONUS: add 5 pts for working out for an hour

10 water points

- 3 liters of water (100 oz)

-32 oz pure water...

-the rest can be flavored (sf) or not

15 sleep points

-7 hrs a night

-lights out by 7 hrs before wake time

20 transformation points

-10 pts: kick out old bad habit

-10 pts: bring in new good habit

***must be same habits the whole challenge.

changing habit choice will result in a 35 pt penalty***

5 communication points

-communicate with at least 1 team member a day

-communicate with at least 1 opponent a day

-well... we have no opponents,

so we will just communicate w/ each other!

you get 1 day off for each category

doesn't have to be the same day!!!

That's why there is only 600 pts possible

ex: no exercise Sunday...

but if you miss another day, you miss the points!

but you cannot exercise all 7 days

and get points for all 7 days,

only 6 days count point-wise!

WI day... if you lose 1% of your weight...

{ex: 200 lbs = 2 lb loss for 1%)

you get a bonus of 20% of total points earned!!!

So... Chuck and I are not competing with this.

We are working together...

our reward is VEGAS!!!

But we have to get an "A"...

that is we have to be 90% or above on points earned.

So, check back and see how we are doing.

I just needed something that would not feel like a diet!

So I think this is the answer.

It's all about making good choices!

Day 3...

Not doing so well on my challenge for myself. I'm having a hard time getting going. I'm confused as to what I should do. Should I count POINTS? Should I just focus on controlling my portions? Controlling my portions sounds less "diet-y", which is what I'm looking for. I just don't know. I don't feel so good right now. Food looks gross, so when I eat, I just eat whatever, trying not to think about it. Usually it is something not good for me. Hummmmm.... Ok, I will figure it out. I want a lifestyle I can live w/out feeling deprived. I really just need to start exercising. I'm just staying the same weight-wise, so if I add in exercise, I will more than likely drop some poundage. Talking with Chuck made me decide I may just keep a food journal of what I eat and how I feel when I eat it. So I will write if I'm hungry, bored, famished, sad, happy, hanging with friends (that's when food flies in my mouth). So maybe that will be the plan of the week.

I changed a couple things on my goals...

1. drink 72 oz. water (I need to ease into this one and 96 oz just wasn't working and I was feeling like a failure! No good!!!)

2. Some sort of exercise 5/7 days... (Working on this one... should work count? I'm on my feet walking, lifting, squatting and such for the 4-5 hours I'm there???)

3. Accurate food journal (no counting POINTS, just focusing on portions and moods)

4. 8pm cut-off for eating (I thought this was more important for weight-loss as compared to a vitamin)

5. No bad fast food (Still keeping this one. I like it! I have done good for 3 days! Woohoo! My girlies even asked for Taco Bell last night and I told them no, we didn't need to eat that junk!)

So... on to a new day tomorrow! Wish me luck! And good luck to everybody who has their own goals! I know you can do it! Maybe we should post again on "Goal-den Girls" again for everyone who wants support. Does that work for you guys or is something else better for you? Let me know!

Have a FABULOUS night people!

8 Week Challenge

Tomorrow starts "Day 1" of my 8 week challenge I set-up for myself.

Here are the details...

1) Drink 96 oz water daily (flavored H2O is OK!)

2) Exercise in some manner 5/7 days a week

3) Keep accurate food journals daily (counting POINTS or not)

4) Take a vitamin

5) No bad fast food (greasy = gross!!!)

My goal... lose 15 lbs in the 8 weeks!

Totally do-able!!!

Anyone care to join me???

My biggest mistake...

As I'm sitting here feeling completely down and depressed, I realize my biggest mistake was taking those stupid "happy pills". They didn't make me "happy" in the end. I have gained back every single pound I worked so hard at losing. I'm totally depressed right now and can't seem to get out of it. I think I should probably go back on those meds, but for what??? To gain another 50 lbs? It's terrible... I worked for 3 years to get to a healthy weight, now I have to work hard for it all over again. And the road seems long! VERY hard... I don't know if I can do it. It's too hot here to even want to think about working out... and to get in a swimsuit right now... WHATVER!!! I just want my "thinny" body back. I will take the impatience with children again... b/c they all head out the door for school again... yes, all of them. My baby goes to Kindergarten this year. So I think having that break from being a mom for a short time every day will be a help. Please "perfect moms" out there, don't judge me for the joy I feel of sending my kids back to school, my kids love school so it isn't hard on me, plus I like the break... they will be back everyday soon enough.

I just have to get back into the swing of things again. Maybe when school starts. But for now I will just not eat too much... yes, that is my goal... when school starts, I will figure other things out.

Food Journal 7-21-10

Target POINTS 28... hit 27


Breakfast @ 930am
1/2 packet of blueberry instant oatmeal... gagged down (1)
nectarine (1)


Lunch @ noon
1/2 roast beef sandwich (3)
1 oz. baked chips (2)
grapes (1)
1/2 c. cottage cheese (2)


Snack @ 230pm
strawberries (1)
banana (1)


Snack @ 430pm
rice krispie treat (2)


Dinner @ 6pm
3/4 c. rice (3)
spray butter (0)
romaine & spinach salad (0)
2 T. caesar dressing (3)
3 oz. chicken (2)


Snack @ 930pm
lg fro yo... pb, pb cup, graham cracker flavors... YUM!!! (5)


Not bad for the first day back on track!
Will post again tomorrow.

Making myself happy...

That's what I said I was going to do this week. We just got back from another trip to DISNEYLAND* late Monday evening. I ate too much junk while I was there and I could totally feel it (and the scale totally felt it as well, poor thing). But that's ok... it's a journey! So yesterday, even though I didn't "count POINTS" I did focus on not eating too much and just drinking water. No "LiQuiD SaNitY" for me! And then today I counted POINTS and just water again! YEA ME!!! Although I have a killer "caffeine withdrawl" headache, but that's ok... it will be gone in the next few days.


So, if you couldn't guess, the thing I'm doing to make me happy is to take care of myself mentally and physically. I have been neglecting the physical for the past year and the mental... well I've been using a crutch. But now it is time to go head on and work everything out w/out the use of meds that make it hard to lose weight and without the stress of hard school classes. I signed up for a sewing class and in October I'm taking a medical terminology class online. I also just started working more regularly at scrapbook.com warehouse again. I love it there. The people are nice that I work with and the scheduling is fairly flexible. So when school starts I plan on working whenever they need me. It would be nice to have some extra cash flowing in! So... I'm super tired and want to go to bed, so that is what I'm doing. Just wanted to post about my life a bit. I'm going to post here more often now with my ups and downs and anything I feel that is important to share! I'm hoping this will help me stay on track!

No one has died...

...and that is a good thing

b/c i went off my "happy pills"

about a month and a half ago!

physically I feel better...

i haven't gained any weight

which is awesome...

b/c i was steadily gaining since starting them

& i haven't changed anything w/ diet-exercise.

NICE!!!

i poop better...

no more [constipation] for these intestines!

emotionally... i'm ok-ish

it is something i have to be conscious of.

not extremely cool,

but i was tired...

of what my meds were doing to me...

that is physically.

it was hard to be happy

in an overweight body!

I still am patient w/ my kiddos

but, i have to be more aware.

i'm heading to the

{{happiest place on earth}}

soon...

and when i return...

i will do something

that will make me happy!

you just wait and see!

so until then...

when i post about what is going on...

here's a quote to think about!

"the successful person has the habit

of doing the things failures don't like to do.

they don't like doing them either necessarily.

but their disliking is subordinated to

the strength of their purpose."

hope it gives you something to think about...

caz i'm thinking too much!

A little support...

People always seem to need a little support every now and then and this is the time I need it most. So I have decided to start a support group. I'm aiming to have it every Wed at 1030am. I just wanted to put this out there for anyone who wants to join in and who wants the support.

So... please comment if you would like to join in! Tell your friends about it. At the first gathering, we will discuss what topics we would like to talk about and go from there.

I do Weight Watchers for anyone who wants to know.

I just don't have the money to go to actual meetings,

so this is the best alternative!

I better go to bed...

... I'm super hungry!!!

Good morning!

And yes it is!

I feel like I did good yesterday.

Although I didn't count POINTS yesterday,

I did write down everything I ate

AND I even passed up

birthday cake and icecream!

Wow... a first for me!

So all in all it was all good!

I even had an emotional night

and I didn't fix it with food.

I know I have a long way to go...

but this is a good start.

I'm fed up...

I'm starting fresh with everything I have done in the past to lose weight!!! I've done it before, I can do it again! There is no reason why I should have gained weight back!!! Well... I know the reason I gained it back, but what I'm trying to say is I know better. But now that I realized it is my meds that made me do this... but not in the sense of I had no control over it, but in the sense that I was finally enjoying life and being happy with me... and it wasn't dependent upon my weight. So I ate lots of yummy, not good for me food and have been slowly adding the pounds back on. They just snuck up on me... I didn't realize it until just recently. I mean, I knew my jeans didn't fit anymore, I knew my tummy wasn't so flat-ish anymore... but it wasn't until I saw some pictures of me taken by someone I realized my face wasn't thin anymore!!! So then I took some pictures of me exactly like the ones on my sidebar at goal weight... and I'm fat again. But I'm in control again. The first step is to realize the problem and now I can move forward. So starting today (11 yrs since becoming a mom) I'm taking control once again and I'm off on my journey. This is for me... and for my family (but mainly for me). So join me on my journey. I will be posting here often. Yummy menu ideas, my exercise routine, my ups and downs (b/c we know there will be plenty of those), and anything else I feel like sharing!!! So... not b/c I want to, but here are my updated pics of me right now. I won't be like this forever... I will lose it again, and then keep it off forever!!!

PS- no... I'm not pregnant... I'm just fluffy!

PSS- and as for my liquid sanity... not giving it up, just having it in moderation! I enjoy it too much!

Starting Over...

My weight loss journey...

I have been slowly gaining weight

and I'm not happy about it right now!!!

So tomorrow is a new day...

my new life (once again)!!!

I'll keep you posted...

My ultimate goal...

get back to my goal weight...

My first goal...

get back into my jeans in 8 weeks!

Weekly goals...

So last week my goal was to give up my "LiQuiD SaNiTy!!!" And I have been successfully off it for 9 whole days (once i shut my eyes tonight it will be 10!!!). I'm so proud of myself. I almost caved on Saturday, my my BFFF talked me out of it... she told me I didn't really need it... and she was right! I'm still here and ALIVE!!! (And so are others around me, so I must be OK!)

I decided I hate dieting, right? So I have a plan... one that started last week with giving up my DP. I'm choosing one new "healthy habit" every week to incorporate in my life. So this week it's exercise. For the past 2 days I have gotten up, got the kids to school and then I pop in my DVD and workout. I got a "Walk Away the Pounds" DVD for Christmas and I have never opened it... until Monday. And I LOVE IT!!! It is super fun! I look forward to working out now. So here's to my goal of the week.

How about any of you?

What do you do to "live a healthy lifestyle" without dieting?

Confessions...

- it's been forever since i posted
- things are not going well in the weight loss area
- i have put back on 30 lbs
- i have been completely addicted to "liquid sanity" (aka dr pepper) for too long
- but i have not had a "liquid sanity" in 4 days now (what a record!)
- i have been on "happy pills" for 6 months now and cannot give them up
- i guess "happy pills" are one of my addictions
- i'm stuggling losing weight and wonder if it has anything to do with my meds...
- i want to get back in my clothes... seriously 10-15 lbs would do it for me!
- i want to be happy and thin... but it feels like i'm going to have to choose b/w fluffy and happy or thin and miserable!
- i can put on a great face in front of others
- i love to have my hair and make-up done when going out... i feel so much prettier!
- i hate cleaning... but love a clean house
- i hate homework... but love good grades
- i hate dieting... but love being thin
- i love yummy foods... but hate being fluffy
- i love to bake... especially cakes and cookies
- i love to eat what i bake... and cakes and cookies are not good for my figure!!!
- i love food...
- i love to play...
- i love card games...
- i love catan...
- i hate repeating myself...
- i don't like plain water...
- i flavor water with sugar free flavors...
- i love microbiology... germs are interesting
- i don't enjoy a lot of the things i use to enjoy... blogging, scrapbooking... so sad
- i wish there were more hours in the day, just so i could get more sleep
- i hate the mornings
- i'm a night owl
- i love disneyland... and am going there soon
- i wish that certain things would come easy to me
- i love gno!!!
- i love pedicures... cute toes are always fun!
- i hate online school
- i love to go to class and learn... makes my brain function, in a different way
- i love hospitals
- i hate the gym/working out... but i feel so much better when i do exercise!
- i wish i was naturally skinny... but then i would have another flaw i would hate...
- i really am happy with who i am... but then i start thinking about what the world thinks
- i should really stop thinking about the stupid world and just be happy!
- i think i am a fun person to be around
- i'm finding this very healing!
- i think i need to do this more often when i get down on myself
- i'm karalyn melser... and i love me!!!