Wow... It's been 2 months!!!

OK... so I haven't blogged on here for awhile... and that means I have done nothing for weight loss in that time as well. I have been struggling with my journey. I think the meds I'm on play a role in that. But I'm happy and patient finally. And I'm OK with who I am! I am KaraLyn Melser... a fun-loving girl! (And I have a pretty good brain too!) No I'm not trying to brag, I'm learning we all have strengths in our lives and I'm learning what my strengths are. I may not be able to be super thin, but I have other strengths that make me who I am.

So I started another blog! But this one is private and only open to actively participating members. It's called "GOALden Girls". It's set up specifically for the support we need to achieve the goals we set forth for ourselves. We are there as a support group for each other... without having to find the right day and time to meet up. This way wherever you are, you can join in. When you join you will become an author and you can post your weekly goal and give support to other girls who are in need of support. This group is not just about weight loss though. It is about everything in life that makes us feel good about ourselves. It's about setting goals to become a better person... whether it be weight loss, spiritual, household, organizing life... you get the idea. If this is a group you were looking at joining, leave me a comment with your e-mail address and I will invite you to be an author.

Oh- and one last thought... this is a girls only blog... sorry boys!!!

Our Own Biggest Loser!!!

Fawn and I want to start a Biggest Loser competition, and since The Biggest Loser starts next Tuesday, Sept 15, we thought we would use that day as our first weigh in. Every Tuesday evening, we will get together at Fawns house, and watch Biggest Loser (minus commercials. thank you DVR!) and have our own weigh in. If anyone is interested, let me know. We are talking about some sort of incentive, but haven't settled on anything yet. Also, if you are just a fan of the show and want to come and watch with us, but not participate, you are more than invited! Anyway, it should be fun!!

I shouldn't have drank DP...

So I'm still awake (yes it's almost 2am and I have to be up at 630 to get kids ready for school)... but I was thinking a DP sounded good tonight, so I had one (or 3 or 4) and now I'm paying the price!

Oh well... it gives me the opportunity to tell you all what I've been thinking over in my head.

I have been thinking about starting up a group that is not just about weight loss, but about learning to love ourselves in spite of ourselves and focusing on things that can make us beautiful inside and outside and things that will help us become stronger, happier, more confident women.

If you want to join in on the fun (it won't all be weight loss related, but it will be a focus), let me know. I'm thinking about Wednesday mornings (around say 10am-ish) at my house (for now). We can meet for about an hour and let the kiddos play and talk about a different subject each week.

I think it could be lots of fun to just get together and motivate one another. If you want to join in, leave me your e-mail address (or e-mail me at melserfam@gmail.com). This is open to whoever... so if you have a friend/sister/acquaintance who wants to be a part, feel free to invite whoever. So tell me what you think and hopefully we'll get this going next week (Sept 2nd).

OK... I oughta head to bed and see if my mind will go to sleep...

Sweet dreams everybody!!!

In my own black hole...

I have had a very hard time lately doing the things I know I need to do to lose the rest of my weight (and a few more pounds I've put back on this past year). Let me tell you all something about me. I suffer from depression (quite severely if you ask me) and I have been battling it for the past year or so as it has gotten worse. I have had no ambition to do things I need to do, no desire to hang out with friends/family, not even sure that I wanted to be a wife/mom anymore. I have been struggling A LOT with this whole issue. But just as I was at the end of my rope, I was talking with Chuck and I told him I was thinking about going back on "happy pills" (as I call them). I didn't feel like I was functioning... as a wife, as a mom, as a Young Women's leader, as a friend, as a student, as a human... I was struggling (to say the least). Well, I set up my yearly physical in July and told myself I would ask about getting back on meds. My doctor didn't even question me... he just wrote the script and handed it to me. I was put on meds back after Miss Maddy was born (well... she was 9 months old) and they worked well for me, so he put me back on the same ones and I was out the door heading to the pharmacy. I started taking them that day and within a week I was a more patient mom and I was actually enjoying my kids (something I haven't done in a VERY long time). When they were being wild and crazy, I could handle it. WOW... why didn't I do this earlier? Who knows, but let me tell you I'm glad I did get back on my meds. As I thought about the fact that I felt like I admitted defeat, I realized that if I would've given up on everything around me, that is when I would've admitted defeat. With the meds, I was getting my life back, admitting to succeeding with this "trial/challenge" in my life.

Now I have patience with my cute kiddos, but that's about all I have noticed with taking these meds. I'm grateful for that, because my kids deserve a mom who is patient with them. But I'm still having a hard time getting over the wanting to be around people (OK... choosing to be around people, once I'm there I'm good, but it's the anticipation that I don't like) and having the desire to do the things I know I should (like clean my house, go work out, eat right, get my fingerprints ;)...). I hope that my desire will come soon to want to do those things. I feel trapped, I know what I should do, but I have no desire to do them. I start school again tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that. I'm hoping that getting out the house and putting my brain to work again will be good. And I know that it gives me more structure in my everyday life, so hopefully with going to school again I can get myself into a routine.

As I'm sitting here typing I can't help but think about how weight plays such a role in how we feel about ourselves. If I'm thinner I feel so much better about who I am. I'm more confident and I feel like I portray that. But as I have gained back 10 lbs, I feel frumpy, ugly and not worth anything. I hate to feel that way, but it's how my brain is programmed. When I was a child I was called a "tub" by someone close to me and I remember that to this day. When I was a teen-ager I experimented with the whole "starving myself to get skinny" thing. It worked to lose some weight, but of course when you start eating again, the weight just comes back on. Then as I got older, it was a control issue. When I was in college, I didn't feel like I had control over anything, so back to starving myself it was. I would weigh myself everyday and be mad if I didn't lose any weight that day. I got down to my lowest weight ever. But then a very dear friend of mine came into town from school and saw me... knew exactly what I was doing and got me out of the "trouble" I was in. Now as I look at my life, I'm the exact opposite as I was back when I was younger. I LOVE FOOD!!! I LOVE DR PEPPER!!! I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm depressed, I eat because someone else is eating... you get the idea. I have lost weight and fairly successfully kept it off, but I find myself getting into the old habits that made me fat (or is it fluffy... that sounds sweeter). I don't want that.

So with a new resolve and hopefully a network of support around me, I'm going to try and lose my last 20 lbs that I would like to lose and work on being a better maintainer.

My goals:

Journal my food daily

Workout at the gym M-W-F

Do my abs daily

Do my arms M-W-F

Drink 100 oz of hydrating fluids a day

And drink Dr Pepper sparingly (once a week TOPS)

Anybody care to join me?

Anybody want to be my support?

Can I help support any of you?

Please feel free to comment and if you would like support/start a group/a blog/whatever let's do it! I know these kinds of things work better with that network of friends/people focused on the same thing.

I know I just spilled my guts out all over the place, but I have been meaning to post for awhile, but never got the desire to do it!

So now you all know...

My name is KaraLyn

and I struggle with depression!

OK... Let's try this again!

So... I've been back on program for 4 days straight... YEA ME!!! I always have a hard time getting going, but I think I'm officially back. I even went to Red Robin last night and wasn't even tempted by the fries (I'm thinking that's a sin to not eat fries at RR!!!) I was only there for the end, but I was offered some... and turned them down! Then they had fondue going on at the house we went to and I didn't eat a bite! YIKES!!! I must really want this!
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The reason I want this??? Chuck and I were called to be a "Ma & Pa" for our stake trek this October and I want to finish losing my weight and get into better shape so they don't have to bury their Ma on the way! So... I have journaled these past 4 days, staying w/in my POINTS for the day and drank 80-100 ozs of water each day. And today we had "Trek Bootcamp" and I got my butt kicked! I know I'm gonna feel it in my legs tomorrow! They feel like lead/jello-y weights right now (IYKWIM). My arms and abs I work out off and on, so they won't be as sore, but we did lunges and stadium stairs... the things I'm not use to doing! I can handle walking laps and stuff, but those stairs were a killer (especially after doing the circuits of strength training and fast-paced walking). But I'm good.

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I'm really determined to do this because I want to feel good... oh- and look HOT! So here's to this adventure. School resumes in 7 1/2 weeks (for me) and I want to be down at least 10 lbs by then... so with faith, trust and a little bit of pixie dust... I'M OFF!!!

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And I can't believe I'm posting this... but I NEVER WANT TO BE FAT AGAIN!!!

EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!! GROSS!!!

But my kids are sure cute!

This was taken Christmas of 2005... just before I started losing weight!

A few recipes!

Cream of Broccoli Soup
1 lb frozen broccoli
1 lb frozen mixed veggies
64 oz fat free chicken broth
1 small onion, chopped
garlic cloves, minced
1 pkg instant flavored mashed potatoes


Saute onion and garlic in large pot sprayed w/ non-stick spray. Add the veggies and chicken broth. Simmer until veggies tender. Puree w/ hand blender and bring to a simmer. Sprinkle mashed potatoes into soup.
8 (2 cup) servings at 1 POINT
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Saucy Chicken and Vegetables
1 can corn- drained
14 1/2 oz stewed tomatoes
6 oz chopped cooked chicken
1/2 c. chopped green/red bell pepper
3/4 t dried thyme, crushed
1/2 t instant chicken bullion granules
1/8 t crushed red pepper
2 c. hot cooked rice


Combine corn, tomatoes, chicken, peppers, thyme, boullion, red peppers in md. sauce pan. Heat thoroughly. Serve over rice.
Serves 4 at 4 POINTS

Just went through some stuff...

I was cleaning out some boxes and came across past "journals" I kept for WW meetings and I thought I'm gonna start posting the things I have written in them so I have a record of them, but don't have to keep the notebooks. So here are a few entries.
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Friday May 19, 2006
223.5-210= lost 13.5 before the start of program


Memorial Day Weekend
- Don't focus on food- focus on...
...family/friends
...fun atmosphere
...simple food prep
...easy clean-up
...outdoors in the pm


Lighten up a recipe or two.


"In the moment that you carry this conviction... in that moment your dreams will become reality." -Robert Collier
--------------------
Friday, May 26, 2006
down 2.2
total 2.2


Don't turn a lapse into a collapse!!!
- Do you ever expect yourself to follow the program perfect?
Perfectionist thinking --> lapse or collapse


Lapse: a slight slip or error in following the program (a valuable learning experience)
Collapse: a period of uncontrolled... leads to depression... QUIT!!!


Prevent a lapse...
Find the causes...
...maybe you are overly stringent
...tyring to lose too much weight or losing it too quickly
...banning certain foods
...having one's self-esteem dependent on one's weight
...too much downtime in the late afternoon or evening (esp if evenings are spent alone).
Get Past...
...take responsibility
...get back on program
...reframe the set-back (What did you learn?)
...get support


Try one preventative strategy.


"A setback is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." -Henry Ford
--------------------
Monday, June 5, 2006
down .6
total 2.8


- 3 servings of milk a day
- LOTS of water! (at least 64oz a day)
- eat at the same time everyday!
- finish eating at 8pm!


Got MILK??? Get it in! :)
--------------------
June 12, 2006
down 3.0
total 5.8


The voices of a busy summer
- friends at BBQ's
- hectic summer schedule
- children on summer vacation
- family reunions/vacations


What can happen to your weight loss attempts when you feel overwhelmed?


Getting support- usually doesn't just "happen", we have to actively seek it!


How do you do this?
-acknowledge the need
-decide what support is needed
-decide whom to ask
-be realistic
-decide how to ask
-compromise- if necessary
-say "thank-you" (in other words, be really nice, not demanding)
-check your response to support (did it help?)


Tools that help- Asserting
1. Expect to get what you wanted (confident- not cocky!)
2. Ask someone who can give you what you want.
3. Be as specific as possible.
4. Show respect for the other person you ask.
Example: I need you to __________ because (so that) __________.


"Find your voice- change your life." -Steven Covey
--------------------
June 19, 2006
down .2
total 6


My 2 goals...
Physical: Abs/Arms/Legs 4 x this week
Food: 96oz H2O (everyday!) 7 days!
--------------------
June 26, 2006
down 4
total 10 YEA!!!


Avoiding vacation amnesia and others too!
(like holidays, b-days, company, celebrating, boredom)


Negative results can be avoided!
#1 Choose your option
- what do you want your outcome to be? (continue losing, maintain, be OK w/ a small gain)
#2 Determine strategies
- how will you follow the program in order to achieve that outcome?
- will the 35 weekly points allowance help?
- exercise plan
- plan for eating out/snacks
- attend a WW meeting
#3 Gather the necessary tools
- what things can you pack, take along or have on hand that could help?
#4 Make a post-vacation or post-event commitment
- a very important step! Why?
- when should you come back to your ww meeting?


Challenges aren't so bad if you look at them as stepping stones and not stumbling blocks.
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More to come later!